How to Know If a Therapist Is the Right Fit for You.

By Mikaela “Mika” Addams

Starting therapy can be a leap. A hopeful one, sure, but still a leap. That feeling in the pit of your stomach when you recognize you need someone, you’re opening up tender truths to a stranger.

You’re trusting someone with the raw, unfiltered truth of your life, hoping they’ll meet it with

care and bring healing that would otherwise not be there. That’s no small thing.

But, not every therapist is the right fit for every person, and that’s okay! In fact, it’s expected.

Finding the right therapist is less like picking someone off a menu its more like finding someone who speaks your language, even if they’re still learning the dialect. You don’t need perfect, you need present. Curious. Open. Human.

So how do you know when you’ve found someone who fits?

Well, it’s often something you feel before you can name it.

You might notice it first in how they listen. You share something, a fear, a grief, a part of your

identity you’ve had to explain a hundred times before. And they don’t flinch. They’re not just

waiting for their turn to speak. They’re with you. You feel it in the silence, in the nod that says

“I’m here. Keep going.” You’re not just talking into the void, you’re being heard.

That’s often where it starts. You aren’t feeling like you are talking to a void, or to someone who is looking for you to slip up. They are present, they accept you for who you are, and they are dedicated to helping you be yourself.

And then, there’s how they respond to your identity, not just on paper, but in practice. Maybe

they slip up your pronouns once, maybe they don’t know the intricacies of your culture or

neurotype right away. But when you gently correct them, or even when you don’t, they notice.

They pause. They own it. They do better next time.

That kind of humility? That’s a green flag. Because you’re not looking for perfection. You’re

looking for someone who respects who you are now and is willing to keep learning.

You might also notice how it feels to be in the room with them, not just what they say, but how they are. For some folks, safety looks like warmth and softness, someone who laughs with you, swears with you, maybe even cries a little with you. For others, it’s steadiness. Boundaries.

Structure. That therapist who might seem a bit robotic to one person could be a lifeline to

another, calm, collected, unwavering. There’s no single right energy. What matters is whether you feel safe showing up fully, or at least like you are getting there. Even if the click isn’t instant, even if it takes a few sessions, there should be a sense of possibility: “I think I could trust this person.”

Then there’s the way they work. Good therapy doesn’t feel like a mysterious ritual where you

just talk forever and hope something shifts. A good therapist helps you understand how they

work and why. They offer tools, not to fix you, but to help you explore and build. Some use

somatic practices, some work with trauma processing like EMDR, others might lean into inner

child work, narrative therapy, or cognitive strategies. Some blend spirituality or creativity. Others keep it strictly clinical.

But the common thread? You’re in the loop. It’s collaborative, not prescriptive. Your voice

matters in the process.

And as time goes on, you start to notice change. It might be subtle: You’re setting a boundary

that used to terrify you. You’re being just a little kinder to yourself. You’re not spiraling as far

when things go sideways. It’s not a miracle moment, it’s a slow unfolding. But it’s happening.

Maybe you don’t leave every session feeling amazing. That’s normal. Healing is a nonlinear,

gritty, often uncomfortable process. But over time, there’s a sense of movement. Of growth. And when something feels stuck, a good therapist doesn’t ignore it, they bring it in the room and talk about it with you.

In the end, a good fit feels like something in your body relaxing. Like you are no longer

performing. Like you don’t have to brace for harm. You don’t have to explain your whole

existence just to be seen. You get to be a human, messy, complex, beautiful and they meet you there.

And if you don’t feel that? That’s not a failure. That’s information. You’re allowed to keep

looking. You’re allowed to choose yourself. At Wild Magnolia Wellness, we believe in that kind of care. Care that respects your truth, adapts to your needs, and walks beside you, not ahead of you.

Whether you are queer, trans, neurodivergent, grieving, healing from trauma, unpacking religious harm, or just trying to survive late-stage capitalism, we see you. And we’re here when you’re ready.

No pressure. Just presence.