“The more room you give to yourself to express your true thoughts and feelings, the more room there is for your wisdom to emerge.” Marianne Williamson
Where is your inner voice? After detaching from the voice of depression, you can fill in your mental and emotional space with your inner voice. Finding your inner voice and wisdom gives you access to your intuition, the voice of your heart and your desires. These aspects of your identity are the feelings that build who you are.
To hear the inner wisdom inside of you that carries the information and desires of what your body, heart, and mind know they want is building an authentic life. This is the delivery system of your essence, soul, spirit, or whatever word you use to describe what makes you, you. It is the deepest part of you. It wants to be seen, heard, loved, and validated.
This voice was loudest in early childhood. Think about the five-year-olds you know and how they follow their emotions and desires to create a joyful experience. They ask, at the loudest volume, for what they want and constantly interrupt the conversation if they are not heard.
The voice inside of you believed things were good and that you could be anything you wanted to be or do anything you wanted to do – the voice that believes that anything is possible. The voice knows what is best for you; “I want to be a dancer. I want to spend time with the people I love.” This is the voice that moves you toward things that make you happy and bring the smile back to your face.
What if you gave this voice full power and control to your life? What if you made it the CEO, commander in chief, and president of your daily experiences? Let it decide the who, how, when, what, why, and where of your life.
No one person, corporation, or society knows what is best for you. You are the only keeper of that knowledge. Unfortunately, your inner wisdom becomes silenced as you go through life because it was told it was wrong, made fun of, or broken down. This is the time and process where you bring back that core part of you that gets to be what you want to be and awaken that voice that knows you better than anybody else.
Inner Voice Activation
Daily Thoughts Log
Wake up each morning for a week and journal your thoughts for ten minutes a day to allow your inner voice space and validation.
Deep Conversation
Try to find one friend, family, therapist, or coach to have a conversation with, exploring different thoughts and ideas you have about who you are and who you want to be in the world. Make sure this person is someone who earned your trust.
Expression
Engage in one expressive activity during the week to access your inner voice of wisdom. Any medium works – art, music, dance, sewing, creating, or connecting. When you are engaging in an expressive activity, you can access the core of who you are and your inner voice.
Writing Your Life Story
Writing your story is a deeply healing experience. Writing with your inner voice, not the voice of fear, anger, trauma, or depression, creates a truly integrated experience. From birth until now, write out your story. Treat yourself as the narrator of your life, deciding how the experiences of your life affected you and building the big picture of who you are.
Finding Your Intuition
Rumi said, “There is a voice inside of you that does not use words.” This is the voice you are looking for. Your intuition is the part of you that knows what to do, what is best for you, and what decisions you should make. Your intuition is an overwhelming pressure pushing you to go one way or the other. There is no need to debate this part of yourself, even if the information comes without a logical plan when you trust it.
Building a relationship and trust with your intuition gives you the power to live a life of passion, desire, and confidence. Respond to your life with, “I do know what to do.”
Damien was a client of mine who struggled with lifelong depression and suicidal ideations. Each time he came into therapy, he found his inner voice and said something that he truly desired. He then put a dismissive or negative thought right after to protect himself. For example, “I want to quit my job and focus on my music and start a music production company” was followed by, “I don’t know. It’s a stupid idea. How will I pay the rent?” Damien’s intuition was telling him what to do with his life to be happy, but fear and protection were stopping him from living the life he wanted to live.
Using mindfulness to identify his dismissive, negative, and “protective” thoughts, he hit the override button on his fear-based thinking. He built a plan to transition to a career into the music industry. This did not happen all at once, but he set goals and intentions to move toward his dream.
When self-doubt hits the brakes on your intuition and dreams, you, too, must hit the override button on your fear-based responses. Be aware of your thoughts and identifying when you avoid or dismiss your intuition.
Imagine that you’re thinking, “I want to apply for the new position.” Then imagine how you respond to that thought. “I do not know.” “It would be an exciting opportunity. I do not know.” “I could use the raise and move my kids to the school that would be better for them, but I do not know.”
You do know. You know that this position would be good for you. You know it would be exciting. You know that it would be good for your children. This is how you accept and build your emotional intelligence.
Looking at how much self-doubt and unconscious fears are guiding your life and decisions is an uncomfortable process. But once you find your sense of knowingness and intuition, you will meet fear with bravery instead of submission. You must listen to your wisdom, even in the moments of self-doubt, fear, or physical limits. Press override on the voice that says, “I am just too tired.”
My client, Tammy, once sat back during a session and acknowledged how she was turning all her dreams into reality and the exciting feeling in her life that things were naturally coming together – her home, her career, her relationships, and her parenting. She was able to find and follow her intuition. She sat back in her chair and cried tears of joy and started to accept all the changes she made in her life. She was able to believe in herself and act on what was best for her life.
Accessing Your Heart
Awakening the voice of your heart unveils your inner truth. What has always been inside of you is now safe to express. Let it out and let it guide you on the journey of life. This heart-mind connection lets your emotions and thoughts work in tandem instead of opposition.
To awaken this connection, I want you to put your hand on your heart, take a deep breath, and answer the question, “What does my heart have to say?”
How do you know if your heart is responding? Your heart responds with love and nonjudgment. Your heart will never say hurtful words. Your heart believes in you. Let your heart’s voice be the voice that starts your day. Let that voice sing out and be your greatest champion. You can do anything. You can be anything. Too often, the voice of your heart is silenced, and you must be brave and bring it back to the stage. If you do not dream, nothing new is possible.
At first, you may feel unsure or uncomfortable when connecting with your heart. You need to keep practicing. Eventually, your confidence will grow. This is an uncomfortable process in the beginning because it lets creativity and love get a seat at the table in the boardroom of your life. Your heart gives you the most authentic information. So, in the beginning, the answer to the question may be, “I do not know what my heart has to say.” This is common. Accessing this information is a practice of checking in and creating space. The answers will come.
Accessing your emotional intelligence adds an additional level of feeling, thinking, and processing to meet your daily needs. Meeting all your physical, emotional, and mental needs allows you to be in the present moment to listen to the current needs as they come up.
Plugging into the core of your heart streams the data it has and lets it fill your life. Mastering your heart and letting love guide you on the journey sustains you and allows you to engage the world with true authenticity and without fear of judgment or shame. Remove the pain and fear from your heart that blocks the ability to be your best and do your best. The world needs you to reach for the stars and dream a new way of being.
Building Your Heart Connection
Heart Engaging Meditation
Take a moment to fully relax in a comfortable place, sitting or lying down.
Place your left hand on your heart.
Take three full deep breaths.
Ask your heart, “What do you want me to know?”
What Do You Desire?
Now that you have your intuition and heart to guide you, it is time to explore what you desire in life and what inspires you. What about life draws you in? A smile, a butterfly passing on a walk, a favorite song, a sunset, a hug from a loved one – what moments and things make your heart swell will love and gratitude in life? What moments ground you and make you feel like there is nowhere else you would rather be?
Desire is the fire of motivation and the kindling for changing your life. People who are unmotivated have not tapped into the root of their desire yet. Take a deep look into your life to find your desire and inspiration. Research the things that inspire you and see how they feel.
It is okay to desire things and yearn deeply for something new and something brave. You must put time, intention, and practice into finding your desires and passion. It is an exploratory process. Google the things you like, learn how to make them into a career, or find groups with people who have similar interests to join. Looking for inspiration and going against the grain seems dangerous. But inspiration is the air you breathe and the fire that lights your soul and gently guides you in the right direction.
You need to look to your role models – the people in the world who are successful and inspire you. When I am in a creative slump, I usually google Sir Richard Branson. I find him to be one of the coolest and inspiring people on the planet. Find who you think is amazing, learn their story and how they got where they are, and incorporate their tools for success into your life.
You have an inner intelligence that lets you know what you need to keep growing. Learning to let your inner wisdom be your guide opens the door to access your true passions Whether the voice is saying change your career, move to Costa Rica or you need to take a bath when you get home to detox the situation you were in.
Cultivating Desire
What piques your interest and pulls you in? What do you want to learn more about?
What lifts your spirits up when you think about it? What gives you a sense of passion and pulls you to engage in it?
Create a list of things you would like to get more information on. After each thing you identify, create a plan to follow through. For example, if you want to be in a local band, go see a local band, and pay attention to how they created their success.
With Love and Light
Ashley McKenna LPCC
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